Come Back Home
by Ofi
Summary: Tomoyo ran away and didnt care what she left behind, better yet who she left behind, if only it would let her forget and let her see. But now five years later she's back, but when she faces it all again will she run away once more?
1. Return

This story came out during the summer and I've been working on it since, Soon I'll be finished. Hopefully!!! *laughs* thanks for reading and please forgive the short chapters, I'm used to writing one shot fics that in one long chapter end!!! Please review!!!  
  
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Eriol Hiiragizawa. That one name has so much meaning to me, Eriol always made me laugh, that or he was making me so angry that I would feel like hitting him. Eriol's like that, he's either taking me to one extreme or another. Actually I should say he was like that, I haven't seen him in quite some time now. Sakura told me he went back to England for a month, and then came back to Tomoeda saying he couldn't stay away. Sakura also said he was hoping that I would have come back but I really don't believe her, I think it's one of her plans to lure me back home. I do miss her and spring is never the same in New York as it is in Tomoeda, but I decided to leave that place a very long time ago. I ran off to live out what I had then made my dream, the dream I created as an excuse to flee a life had gotten so difficult that smiling had become harder. I just wanted to leave, no matter who I left behind. My love of film, photography, and costume design (and my supposedly beautiful face) had been my ticket.  
  
I take a deep breath and prepare for landing. Flying has never been one of my favorite things to do. I put my laptop away, hoping that I have enough time to finish my project. I open up the small blind and stare out the blue sky as the pilot informs the passengers about the temperature and such. I feel some tears gather when I see land spread out like a checkerboard, that checkerboard's home; I haven't seen it in over 5 years. I hear passengers whispering, even if 1st class I still can't escape gawkers. My stomach lurches a bit as the plane touches down but the feelings quickly replaced by panic, how much will have home changed?  
  
"TOMOYO!" Nakuru shrieks and she promptly follows to smother me in her famous death grip that she considers a hug.  
  
"Nakuru let her go before you suffocate her!" replies a voice that practically starts the tears in my eyes. As soon as Nakuru lets me go I'm swept up by my best friend, she feels so familiar wrapped in my arms as her short brown hair mingles with my dark locks.  
  
"I've missed you so much" Sakura whispers  
  
"I've missed you too," I say trying not to let my tears choke my voice.  
  
We let go and analyze one other. I'm happy to see that she hasn't changed much though we've both gotten taller well that's expected, I left Japan when I was 13 now I'm 18.  
  
"You haven't changed," she says happily.  
  
I don't have a chance to respond because Nakuru practically drags me back to the waiting car and says in a feverant voice "Master's been wanting to see you like FOREVER!!!!"  
  
'Eriol' I think  
  
Sakura follows after us laughing, no nothings changed.  
  
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"Sakura I'll be too much of a bother! Trust me I'll be fine in an hotel!" Sakura looks if I have just suggested asking Yue if he's ever been in love, complete mortification.  
  
"I can't let you do that! Look it'll be fun like old times!! Like we were little again" Slowly I give in as Nakuru screeches to a halt in front of the familiar house. Grabbing my bags from me she carries them to the front door. Sakura leads me to the door and gives me a push inside. The house is dark but as soon as I'm in the lights go on and many voices yell  
  
"Welcome back!"  
  
The light reveals the welcome home party my friends have created for me, and the crying starts again, soon Sakura's crying then Chiharu then Rika. "You guys!!!" I manage "this is so nice of you all, but it really wasn't necessary!"  
  
Nakuru all but tackles me "Isn't necessary?! We've missed you Tomoyo, haven't you gotten that part yet?"  
  
Toya gives me a brotherly hug, we had become very close before I left "Welcome back kiddo, if I'd known you'd be gone for so long I wouldn't have let you go in the first place."  
  
I laugh and hug him tighter "I've missed you too Toya."  
  
Remembering that he still called me kiddo I stand up straight, but he's still taller than me. "I think we should let that name go no?"  
  
He only laughs.  
  
Someone presents me with a bouquet of morning lilies, one of my favorite flowers. I take burying my face in the smell; another thing New York won't ever be able to match. The giver smiles at me and I feel my eyes widen in surprise and my mouth open in a very un-lady like fashion.  
  
"Eriol?!"  
  
His blue eyes dance with mirth as he kisses my hand; in my shock I hadn't noticed him take it in the first place. I manage to say, "Forward as always"  
  
"And you, Ms. Daidouji, as beautiful as always" he retorts. I don't even bother in being embarrassed, Eriol hasn't changed, and I can't figure out whether that's good or not.  
  
"I was thinking the same about you," he whispers. I give him a death glare  
  
"Don't get into my head Eriol...." I push him aside to go see Syaoran.  
  
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Sakura and I giggle as if we were still in 4th grade, and it's almost like we've stepped back to that time. Kero lays on her bed in his temporary form as we talk and laugh; this time we last past mid-night as she tells me about being in love with Syaoran and I tell her about the few failure boyfriends. She takes out an album and I laugh, she has almost all of my photos of various modeling jobs and costume designing.  
  
"I've collected everyone I've been able to find! And that's almost all of them" she laughs and Kero flies over to see them, ooohing and ahing. I fumble around one of my bags  
  
"Look now we're even" Sakura also had some modeling opportunities and I had gone through a lot of difficulty to get these pictures but I love and missed Sakura so much that it had been worth it. Sakura turns red "Sometimes I regret doing that"  
  
"Why?! You look so beautiful! Remember that one time I told you that you were a designers dream, you still are "  
  
She blushes and laughs.  
  
"Ya know" Kero announces "you two haven't changed?! So whatcha bring me?"  
  
I throw a pillow at him "neither have you little Kero! Always thinking of yourself or your stomach!"  
  
As Kero plays with his present, I bought him a Game Cube and a game I knew he would love, Sakura and I talk on a more serious level not about boy friends, jobs, or school.  
  
"How long are you going to stay?" I look away  
  
"I don't know that part yet..."  
  
"I wish you would come back"  
  
"Sakura don't be sad. It's just...what if everything happens all over again? What if this time I cant even control it?"  
  
"But what if it happens to you in New York? From what you've been telling me you're pretty much alone there, what will you do with any of us there to help you?"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I know I know, it's not all that great, but give me a chance okay?! I'll be very grateful if you review, but be warned I'll put out your flames with my own tears I don't mind constructive critiism but flames make me sad.  
  
Arigato! Shadow Elf Sofi 


	2. First Days

Well this is chapter two, hopefully I'll get some more review this time!! But thanks for reading!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A while later I watch Sakura sleep...I've missed this so much I almost start crying again. Why am I so emotional? My best friend sleeps so peacefully...how many times did I do this when I was a kid, wake up just to watch her sleep. I loved her so much I still love her but not in that way...no I love her like a sister, that's why important I finish that project. If Syaoran plans to do what we talked about... that project will be the best one I've ever done...and for my age I've done plenty  
  
Sunlight warms my body and forces my eyes to open. I groan  
  
"Wake up... I'm surprised to see you still sleeping"  
  
The voice makes me freeze and I slowly turn around to see Eriol standing in Sakura's room with that infuriating grin of his. "Eriol if your interfering with my dreams the moment I wake up you'll regret it"  
  
He mocks looking hurt and I pull the covers around myself "Sakura and my darling descendant went out early and she asked me to look after you"  
  
"How did you get up here? Toya will kill you"  
  
"Lucky for me he's out working plus you know I have my own ways...I'll cook you breakfast while you get all beautiful for me"  
  
"Dream on" I say sarcastically, he blows me a kiss and disappears downstairs.  
  
"Sakura" I moan, "This is the welcome you give me?"  
  
After a cautious shower I go downstairs in much better spirits. "Like?" Eriol says presenting me with a table full of food. Reminding myself I'm still a bit irked at him I manage to wipe the surprised look of my face but still I have to be grateful  
  
"It looks great," I say quietly. I sit down and we eat and we manage to talk. I remind myself how I managed to enjoy Eriol's company before...it all happened. But that's something I don't want to think about. Eriol laughs, "I'm probably not even half the cook some of you ex boyfriends are"  
  
"No your way better...plus I never let them cook me breakfast...and some of them really were awful" I make a face remembering one guys, Michael, version of grilled chicken. I look up thinking maybe Eriol had read my mind...but this time he just read my face "Don't worry I don't do that with my friends"  
  
Reluctantly I let Eriol pull me out to see the town. With my face pressed to the fence I survey my old elementary school, the memories of class and capturing a few of the Sakura cards here are overwhelming.  
  
"You aren't going to get all sad on me are you?" Eriol asks. I know he's only trying to snap me out of it. I turn and smile. "Let's go"  
  
"The age old question" I ask as we walk down the street "what do you want to do with your life?"  
  
He shrugs "I wish I knew...but you have it all figured out miss perfection"  
  
"Hey I resent that...I cant model forever...I think I may stick to filming...and photography and of course designing clothes"  
  
He laughs "you know what you want...I don't even have a clue...lucky for me I still have a year to decide"  
  
I suddenly stop "oh my gosh!!"  
  
"What?" Eriol asks coming back to where I was stand "This place used to sell the best snow cones I would come here with Sakura and Kero all the time..."  
  
Not letting him react I run across the street.  
  
"You know that you're strange?" he asks watching me dig in my treat  
  
"No more strange than you." I respond quickly.  
  
"With the Master of the Clow and my blush-oriented descendant as friends what more could I expect? I'm the only normal person you know," I laugh "uh- hu"  
  
That only fuels him "especially with all those odd people in New York...they must make Tomoeda look like a normal place"  
  
"It is," I protest but still I'm laughing. Like I said Eriol was always taking me to one extreme or another...its kind of comforting that he still does. But as always something has to go wrong... something has to change...and it does.  
  
"ERIOL!!!" a blond hair girl shrieks... with a voice like that she could give Nakuru some serious competition. She comes up to us and sits in his lap. Eriol manages a "Hello Hikari.please get off of me"  
  
"But Eriol..." the girl pouts. Eriol was always a flirt, she's probably a girlfriend...she also completely ignores me, and wraps her arms around his neck. I shake my head.... And mouth "I'll see you later" I'm a bit disappointed...I don't know why I'm mean its Eriol we're talking about he'll always be this way.... I shouldn't have expected anything else.... With Eriol I always end up the idiot. 


	3. Old Friends

I sigh as I walk down the street...first day back and it's just the same way I left it...the world dims a bit and I start to panic  
  
"I can do this," I whisper. I walk a bit faster the blindness beginning to overtake my eyes. It's so strong that I have to sit down.  
  
"Tomoyo..."  
  
I look up, the sunlight chasing some of the shadows from my eyes... "Yamato?"  
  
My blond haired friend helps me up as we gawk at each other. "Are you okay?" he asks a bit worried...it's like we never left off anywhere which is ironic since it was Yamato who I said goodbye to and not Eriol.  
  
"Yeah...I think I am now"  
  
Arms linked, partly for jest partly because he's still worried I may black out, we walk around the park.  
  
"I've missed this," I say happily  
  
"I still can't believe you're back," he answers  
  
"Everyone keeps telling me that..." Suddenly he picks me up by the waist and twirls me around  
  
"Sorry I just needed to make sure this was real" I laugh and run toward the bridge.  
  
I should explain how I know Yamato, he was one of my bodyguards, Yesene's, son. We met when I turned 12 and the bodyguards threw me a surprise birthday party, my mother had been on a business trip and couldn't be there. From the day we met we became close friends. He's a year older than me and is a musician, he would write songs for me about my nose that would have me laughing so hard I would be crying. We have the whole sibling friendship, though I must admit he's gotten very good looking. His hair is a bit longer tied into a short ponytail by a simple piece of leather and his green eyes are in short, beautiful. As we sit on the bridge silently staring down at our reflections, I study his. I tug on his hair, "you're in good need of something people call a hair cut"  
  
"Right after you do" I place my hands protectectivly around my waist long hair. We laugh comfortable with each other as the sky is to the stars; he yanks me up "let's not waste the entire afternoon here okay?"  
  
"I didn't see you at the party last night" I say as we walk past street vendors. He smiles apologetically  
  
"You mad at me?" he asks "My dad was in town last night" his voice trails off.  
  
"Yamato" I say quietly taking his hand in mine "I'm sorry"  
  
"Why should you be, he's my father Tomoyo. At least he showed up this time. I don't hate him, he didn't take me away from Japan like he used to want to." Yamato shrugs "And if it wasn't for him not showing up I would have never met you"  
  
I smile "So that's why Yesene let you come to my birthday party"  
  
"That's not why" he says with a smile of his own "It's because I saw you one day in the park, you were all by yourself on a swing. I wanted to meet you so bad that I wouldn't stop complaining to my mom until she said yes because my father didn't show up to pick me up"  
  
"You never told me that"  
  
"I never told you a lot of things Tomoyo" He laughs at my face "Don't look at me like that, how about lunch at my house? I want to show you something, but I'll race you there. Ready, Set, GO!"  
  
Laughing I chase after him down the crowded streets, like I used to. Yamato helped ease the pain of knowing Sakura would never be mine, though I couldn't tell him the whole truth about everything, there was only one person who I could tell that to: Eriol. I shake my head trying to let the dark eyed sorcerer out of my mind. Right now I don't want to think about him, I just want to enjoy the time I have with my friend; the one who I met when I needed him as much as he needed me.  
  
It feels so warm being in Yesene's arms, so warm and familiar. Yesene meant very much too me, whenever I went on my little card capturing excursions with Sakura and the bodyguards would have to pick me up late, they rarely asked questions or told my mother. The night I took Kero home I could tell by her face that she was trying very hard not to laugh. When I told her I was going to New York, she had been one of the few people to simply nod; she also taught me to pulverize anyone who tried to rob me.  
  
"Ms. Tomoyo" she says letting me go and looks me from head to toe "You've grown. Come on we can talk better over lunch."  
  
I can tell Yesene's careful of asking me questions a mother, especially my own, would, and I feel the ache I have inside start again. My throat feels tight and my eyes threaten to spill tears. Yamato must have noticed it because he leads me outside.  
  
"Do you like it?" he asks.  
  
"You bought a motorcycle?" I say practically drooling over the red bike, he smiles "Took me all summer and many different jobs but she's mine... need a ride home?"  
  
I laugh "what do you think" and get on, circling my arms around his waist I lay my head on his back, there are many reasons on why I came back home...Yamato is one of them.  
  
"Thanks" I say getting off. Yamato gets off and stands there looking at me strangely.  
  
"Don't worry about it, I've missed you Tomoyo; I'm just glad I got to have you all to myself for an afternoon"  
  
I blush and smile.  
  
"I'll talk to you later" he says and gives me a hug. I'm left a bit breathless and my heart pounds, my friend has really changed, or maybe it's me. I watch him drive off feeling a lot better about the end of my day. That would have been the perfect ending... but of course it wasn't 


	4. Birthdays, Dares, and First Kisses

I would like to thank all of my wonderful reviewers!!! THANK YOU!!!! Sorry this update was so long in coming the internet, myself, and my parents decided to have a little argument, when the internet worked I couldn't use it, when I could use it the internet decided not to work!. ^_^; thank you all so much!!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Sakura smiles brightly at me when I walk through the door "where's Eriol?"  
  
"I don't know..." She smiles and shakes her head as I settle next to her.  
  
I ask, "How was your day?"  
  
"Good me and Syaoran visited some universities"  
  
"That's great... who's Hikari?" She laughs  
  
"I'm guessing you met her. She's an acquaintance of mainly his as well as Chiharu's cousin. She's completely in love with Eriol like Nakuru used to be with my brother"  
  
"Used to?"  
  
"Oh yeah! I never told you about her and Yuki did I" I laugh "some how I thought that would happen"  
  
"It did... you ready to go out tonight?"  
  
"Meaning?"  
  
"Its Rika's birthday" I smile always ready to party  
  
"I saw Yamato" I confess  
  
Sakura raises her eyebrow making her look cute making me wish I had my camera with me.  
  
"And?"  
  
"You left Eriol in the house!" Momentarily off the subject Sakura laughs  
  
"He asked me to let him, lucky for all of us Toya had to work early today...hey your avoiding my question!"  
  
I smile and reply "no I wasn't, he brought me home. Eriol was sadly detained by Hikari."  
  
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"Tomoyo don't you think this is a bit too much for a regular party?" I coax her out of the bathroom where she hides "let me see it. Its not that flashy pretty casual for me"  
  
"That's true..."  
  
"Please?" From the other side of the door she sighs and slowly opens "You look beautiful!"  
  
"Coming from you"  
  
"Kero doesn't she look pretty?" He nods in agreement "ravishing" he adds.  
  
Sakura blushes "I don't know you guys"  
  
"Want to ask Yue?" Her face looks mortified "No your right lets go"  
  
Syaoran turns an entire spectrum of red when he sees Sakura  
  
"You... you look great" he stammers out, I try not to laugh: they're so cute. I let them walk ahead  
  
"You're not chickening out?" Kero questions, I turn to smile at him "when have I been known too?"  
  
I step out the suns just setting giving me the impression of a happy ending in a movie Syaoran and Sakura in the lead. "Dreaming again?"  
  
The question snaps me out of my thought, Eriol smiles at me holding out a dozen red roses  
  
"What's this for?"  
  
"You want it to be an apology don't you? Well it isn't, it's for Rika"  
  
I shrug silently calling myself an idiot, Eriol reaches behind his back and produces a single white rose and offers me his arm, and "This is for you"  
  
Being the "gentlemen" he is, Eriol actually apologizes. "Sorry about Hikari...she's....think about Nakuru to the maximum" I smile, "Sakura explained it to me"  
  
"Still I felt bad about you rushing out like that" I think about Yamato and smile "Don't worry, I still managed to have fun with out you"  
  
He looks at me and says "Oh really?" Another one of those God-Where-Is-My- Camera-When-I-Need-It moments. We walk silently until we reach Rika's house.  
  
"So am I forgiven?"  
  
"Of course..." He smiles and I'm really no longer mad at him, that is of course until a familiar motorcycle drives up bearing two riders. Yamato and Hikari.  
  
I brace myself for Hiker's screech but it doesn't come. Actually she's very quiet next to Yamato and whispering something to herself. "Looks like she found a date" he says pulling me inside.  
  
"Happy birthday Rika" I say presenting her with a gift. She smiles  
  
"I never thought you'd be here for my eighteenth birthday" she says "you just being here is good enough of a present!"  
  
From across the room I see Yamato staring at me.  
  
"So Rika ready for our traditional games?" Eriol asks, Rika laughs "Of course! Hey everyone settle in the basement!"  
  
As the others practically run down I ask Eriol "mind explaining?"  
  
"It's another thing you missed out on."  
  
"So what will be first?" Naoko asks, "Rika it's your special day you decide"  
  
She thinks for a moment then gives a devilish grin "I have never"  
  
"Remember to explain to Tomoyo how to play" Sakura says, "I already do..."  
  
I remember the time I got a job designing costumes for a play... the cast and backstage had played it, it had been a funny experience.  
  
"We'll go over it in case any of us have forgotten one of us will stand up and say a statement that starts with 'I have never' so say if Rika says 'I have never skipped school' all of us that have to stand up and switch places with another person who has understood?"  
  
We all nod. Rika stands and says "I have never... sneaked out of my house late night"  
  
To our surprise we all stand up, Sakura and myself included. "Those have to be some interesting stories" Yamato who turned up next to me says. Naoko is left standing "lemme think... I have never... thought about running away"  
  
The only ones to stand up are Eriol and I. I scramble for his spot and Naoko already sits in mine.  
  
Eriol laughs and says, "you asked for this- I have never been kissed"  
  
"That's the best you can come up with Eriol?" Hikari challenges. Feeling myself turn red I stand up, even though I've had my share of boyfriends I either break up with them before they've had a chance to even try or they break up with me because I don't let them.  
  
"The famous Tomoyo has never been kissed" I say with a laugh, "So you want to play that way Eriol? Okay then I have never flirted shamelessly with someone"  
  
Hikari, Chiharu, and Eriol stand up. I stick my tongue out at him. As so the game goes, some of them are a bit serious some are just plain hysterical like Eriol's "I have never had a crush on me" all the girls except Sakura stood up. Then Syaoran's own "I have never been in love" made us go "aw" So far the night was going good, but it was far from over when Eriol announces "lets play truth or dare"  
  
The age-old game of Truth or Dare, you take either a question or a challenge all depends on how much courage your willing to display. Still even picking Truth can be dangerous; I never played the game while I was in New York though it was a favorite. But tonight being home and with my friends made me feel brave so I joined them. "Hm... who shall be the first victim of the night? Yamazaki Truth or Dare"  
  
"Did you know the game originally-"  
  
"No stalling" Chiharu groans hitting him, "Truth then"  
  
"Do you really think Chiharu's cooking isn't all that good?" we all laugh, I haven't tried Chiharu's cooking lately but the last time I checked well...  
  
"Poor Yamazaki" Yamato whispers in my ear "brave man to risk making the love of his life, especially considering that this is Chiharu, mad"  
  
I try to stifle a laugh, but cant. "No I actually got used to it" Yamazaki says smoothly  
  
I glance at Eriol who sits across from us. He meets my eyes and smiles painfully I then notice Hikari sitting next to him. Yamazaki chooses his prey "Yamato"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Truth or Dare"  
  
"Dare," we cheer for the first Dare of the night  
  
"I Dare you too.... pick out the most beautiful of these lovely young women and waltz them around the room" Eriol snickers  
  
"He's playing like the gods"  
  
"What's that mean?"  
  
"The apple for the most beautiful... in this case, a waltz. While Yamazaki just risked Chiharu's anger Yamato's risking about every girls anger in here"  
  
I don't think any of us want to admit it but we are kinda curios to see who Yamato thinks is beautiful. Ever since I introduced them most of us have drooled over him. I never really did, because to me he was Yamato, pretty much a playmate, a friend I sorely needed. He's still my friend, still my playmate. Come to think of it he and Hikari would look cute together...that thought only makes me feel a bit uneasy. I'm so buried in my thoughts Sakura has to lightly hit my arm "look up!" she whispers  
  
"Hm? oh..." Yamato stand in front of me holding out his hand, someone has already put on an old waltz. "Not funny"  
  
"What makes you think I'm playing?" I stand up and put my hand on his shoulder as he puts his hand on my waist and the other in waiting palm. "Remember you taught me how to waltz?"  
  
I shake my head yes and whisper, "you've gotten better"  
  
I glance at Eriol who sits calmly watching us. The song ends and I'm allowed to sit down feeling a bit more embarrassed.  
  
We play late into the night and just like "I have never" we get some interesting results like a few kisses of those who are not coupled and of course Hikari's was outrageous and hilarious, she ran outside the house professing her love for Eriol.  
  
"For the last round of the night!" Hikari announces turning to face me with a slightly psycho look she asks "Tomoyo truth or dare?"  
  
I take a deep breath and say, "Dare" the delight on her face unmistakable.  
  
"I dare you to let Eriol give you your first kiss" I already know Eriol must be smiling, Sakura and Syaoran are trying very hard...well just about everyone is trying really hard not to laugh. I look at Eriol who just smiles and shrugs. To all their amazements I don't protest just let out a low sound that sound like "okay"  
  
We meet in the center. "Alright" he whispers, "close your eyes"  
  
I feel myself turning red "don't make this worse Hiiragizawa"  
  
"I'm trying to make it easier"  
  
"Fine"  
  
I've seen enough movies to know how it goes but this was totally different my body sort of automatically leaned forward and my lips met his. And ah yes the fireworks. Darkly, I was half hoping that coming from Eriol, it would be a bit dull since he's thinks he is Casanova. Then again I was hoping that I would actually get to enjoy my first kiss... I'll never admit this to his face but it was...nice. Fire immediately spread through my body and an orchestra was playing in my mind. We break apart and Eriol helps me stand up. I can barely look him in the eye. "Well how was that for show?"  
  
They clap and cheer and start to get up to tell Rika bye.  
  
"I'll walk you home" Eriol whispers as I walk over to Rika.  
  
Yamato my protective big brother takes me aside "Are you okay?"  
  
I smile up at him "perfectly fine... I just got my first kiss"  
  
He smiles and says something to himself that sounds like "wish I could have done it" but maybe I'm just hearing things. All my friends are crowding around asking how it was and I can see Hikari smile brightly at me that leaves me very confused. Smiling back at her I move over to where Rika is.  
  
"Bye Rika" I say giving her a quick hug "I had a blast"  
  
"I would say you did!" I laugh and wait for Eriol outside. Our old teacher Mr. Terrada waits nervously for her outside now that Rika's eighteen she can be with him that makes me really happy, because for her that's probably the best present.  
  
Yamato steps outside with me "need a ride?" I blush  
  
"No, I'm fine. Plus don't you have to take Hikari?"  
  
"She demanded a ride and I don't think I can stand her long enough to take her back home"  
  
"Be nice... Eriol said he'd walk me home"  
  
"Oh" Hikari walks out "ready?"  
  
"Yeah"  
  
"Bye Tomoyo" he says quietly, Hikari waves and they drive off.  
  
"Come on" Eriol says taking my hand unexpectedly. "So how was your first kiss eh?"  
  
"I'm not going to answer that"  
  
"Why? Come on I need to know was it memorable?"  
  
"How can you be so immature at times Eriol?"  
  
"Easily... are you ready to go home yet truthfully?" I sigh, "Will you read my mind to make sure I'm not lying"  
  
"I'm going to trust you on this one"  
  
"No I'm not tired yet"  
  
"I was hoping you'd say that"  
  
"Eriol where are you taking me?" I demand blindly moving forward, very aware of Eriol's presence close to mine.  
  
"It's a surprise!"  
  
"Its the middle of the night! And I'm walking around with your hands over my eyes" he doesn't respond and keeps leading me forward. "We're here"  
  
He removes his hands from eyes but not from me, they rest of my shoulder. "Wow... Eriol...I'm speechless"  
  
"Beautiful isn't it?" I nod dumbly, and stare off at the town.  
  
"It's an abandoned park" he explains signifying the rusted swings and dented slide.  
  
Even at this time the town is still bright, "This is.... great"  
  
His hand moves back up to my face and turns it towards his. "I'm glad you liked it... I've been waiting 3 years to show it to you"  
  
I'm a bit breathless. We here a rustling sound and Eriol's hand smoothly slips of my face and normally to his side. "Tomoyo?... Eriol?...what are you two-"  
  
"Syaoran. Hey! Is Sakura with you?"  
  
"No she's getting a bit worried. You should go back home" I nod and start down the path...Eriol stays behind for a moment. I hear Syaoran's low voice and Eriol's laugh. He catches up with me, smiling.  
  
I walk up the stairs my head in the clouds; this is what I've missed. This is what I'm seriously considering returning to. Sakura smiles coyly at me when I walk into our temporarily shared bedroom.  
  
"So?..." I sit on the bed and return innocently  
  
"So what?"  
  
"How was it??!!"  
  
"It's scary how you've seem to almost turn into me"  
  
"No Tomoyo I could never be like you... your brave enough to have your kiss in a party"  
  
"What?" Kero asks instantly awake "So our little Tomoyo finally got her first kiss!"  
  
I blush "be quiet Kero..."  
  
"From who?"  
  
"Um..."  
  
"FROM ERIOL!" Kero laughs, "how did I know? Where were you?"  
  
"Eriol took me to some abandoned park"  
  
"At 12:30 in the morning?" I smile "he wanted to show me the lights"  
  
They look at me dumbfounded "Just to show you lights?" I nod  
  
"I could not think of Eriol more than one of my best friends and I'm actually relieved he gave me my first kiss because it wasn't as awkward as having some stranger doing it."  
  
Sakura smiles "What if Yamato had done it?"  
  
I don't have a response to that "I don't know...."  
  
Remember how I said how it would have been the perfect ending right after Yamato dropped me off at home? It would have been, but the real finish is I'm going to sleep with the tingly feeling of my first kiss still on my lips and the raging thoughts not letting me figure out if this was a nice ending or not and of course the small part of me that wished she could share this with her mother. 


	5. Secreats Kept

Hm a short chapter, hope you like. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I get up early the next morning and go for a run. I'm half asleep but running usually helps me clear my mind; so I don't even give myself a particular direction to run to. My feet carry me past the park and the King Penguin slide. Then for some reason I realize that I'm crying. This is insane! One little run makes me break out into tears. I shut my eyes and keep running  
  
"Don't think about it..." is the only thought I allow myself. I know why I'm crying... I know why all this is happening and I know that I cant stop my the images in my mind. Especially the one recurring one, my mother smiling as she died. My feet stop and I almost fall over. I look up and laugh painfully; my subconscious has delivered me straight at Eriol's door. Still laughing at myself I get ready for the run back home when the door opens. "TOMOYO!"  
  
Nakuru pretty much picks me up and carries me to the house, she either doesn't notice my tear stained face or chooses to ignore it.  
  
"MASTER GUESS WHO'S HERE TO SEE YOU!" she shouts. Confused Eriol politely yells back "Its to early for anyone to be here! Did Spinel refuse to eat your breakfast again?"  
  
"No silly! Keep guessing"  
  
"There's only one person that I know who would be up this early and-" he cuts his sentence off to look out his door "Tomoyo?"  
  
"I went out for a run and found myself here I guess?" I shrug apologetically "Nakuru...she brought me in"  
  
He smiles "Hungry?" my stomach chooses that moment to inform me that I'm hungry by growling.... loudly. "Just a little"  
  
He laughs, "I'll check if Nakuru's breakfast is edible"  
  
He watches me eat and says, "You must be really hungry"  
  
"Why do you say that?"  
  
"That's Nakuru's 'special breakfast' made especially for Spinel" I laugh, "It's delicious"  
  
We sit in silence a bit longer: me stuffing my face, Eriol watching me with an amused expression  
  
"Stop looking at me like that!"  
  
"Like what?" he asks innocently  
  
"You are a bit aggravating at times Hiiragizawa"  
  
He only smiles in response. I finish off and sit quietly staring out the houses large windows.  
  
"Want to talk about it?" I glance at him and shake my head no "not yet Eriol... I'm not ready just yet"  
  
When I go back to Sakura's house no one's there. I sit outside basking in the sunshine and thinking how many memories I have because of this house. I walk to the back to sit in the shade; I like the shadows of the middle afternoon. I love the light that dapples on my face; I can't help as I let out a quiet song out.  
  
"So you've come back" I finish my song before responding "thank you for keeping my secret... Yue."  
  
From my spot on the ground I smile up at the guardian, who half smiles back. "Where did you learn that song?"  
  
"You know I can't really remember... why do you ask?"  
  
"Clow would sing it... how do you know I've kept your secret"  
  
"Because it's in your nature, sit down"  
  
I know he wont, it's something else about his nature. But he surprises me and sits on the bench "Are you back for good, my master misses you greatly. You were a big part of our lives."  
  
I smile "have you missed me Yue?"  
  
"Eriol has, you know how time passes differently for me. According to days it's been almost a year and a half since I last saw you. It seems like yesterday"  
  
Wondering what he means? It's a bit embarrassing, but true. A year and a half ago I was so homesick and desperate to see this place... that I did. But true to my nature, I couldn't do it normally. I stood there frozen in the airport terminal; slowly I walked out and fled to the Tsukimine Shrine. Little thing called fate had hade Yue waiting there. He'd half laughed and told me he would keep my secret... I left on the next flight back. I haven't told anyone else about it.  
  
"That's nice... but I'm not sure if I'm back for good... there's so many things I still need to figure out, about me and...."  
  
"Your feelings" Yue finishes "the feelings you harbor for my master, Eriol, and Yamato"  
  
I stare at him "is there anything you don't know?"  
  
"Tch everyone of you has passed through this problem it seems. First Clow's descendant then my master and you, what melodramatics your lives hold"  
  
I laugh  
  
"No more than yours does, no more than yours"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
*turns red* forgive the short chapter, any suggestions for further situations? They will be gladly received and put into mind!!  
  
Sofia 


	6. Storms and Memories

I'm sorry it took so long for this to be updated but soccer season was my life for the past few months, but now that's over and summer vacation is only a week away! I wanted to rewrite a few chapters to take Pinkjasmine advice, do check out some of her work!

This chapter is dedicated to my faithful reviwer, thanks Pinkjasmine your reviews are a big help!!

Do drop a review if you have something to tell me!

* * *

Yamato's smooth voice fills the air; I sit back and listen. I'm glad he invited me to listen to him play, yes he would sing to me but only nonsense songs, never what he would sing for others; especially for his girlfriends. The love song fills my body and makes my heart feel as it will explode. Yamato's voice telling me that it's going to be okay that he would never leave me. The feeling is so familiar...

_I jump and give a bit of a shout as another bolt of lightning hits. The storm has been going on since the afternoon, I glance at the clock it's eight at night and I'm all alone. My mother has been on a business trip and won't be back until two days from now; I gave Airan and the bodyguards the afternoon off. I thought I could brave this storm on my own, as always i was trying to prove to no one that I needed no one. I sigh and am rewarded by another bolt. My shaky hand picks up the phone and begins dialing at the last number i stop short and realize who I was calling- Eriol. I laugh sadly, Eriol's been gone for a month ever since the business with the Sakura cards finished. _

_"There's no way I'm going to call Sakura" I mutter to myself "The last thing I want for her is to worry about me" The rain is comes down harder along with strike after strike. I scream _

_"Hey calm down"_

_The voice comes from behind me and in a flash I turn with my fists swinging. _

_"Tomoyo calm down, it's me Yamato. Geez!" My green-eyed friend smiles at me with one of my fist caught in his own._

_"Yamato!" I hug him "Thank you! I was so scared" _

_I feel his arms encircling me "Yeah I thought you would be. My mom told me you'd given them the afternoon off. I decided to come see you were doing. Good thing right?" _

_I laugh but stop and push him away. "Hey I didn't ask you to" I say darkly._

_He smiles again and pulls me close "I know you didn't but I came anyway. I like being with you Tomoyo." He kisses the top of my forehead _

_"But since you seem so sure I'll see you tomorrow" he starts to walk out_

_"No wait! I'm sorry Yamato" He shrugs _

_"It's okay" We sit on the couch and turn on the tv, hoping to drown out the storm._

_"Thank you" I say quietly _

_He grins and my heart feels like it will burst _

_"My pleasure"_

"What are you thinking about?" Yamato's voice disrupts my memories as he slides next to me on the park bench.

"The past" I murmur smiling, and cast a glance his way. "How much money did you make?"

He blushes and pockets the loose change people had thrown into his guitar case, "I hate when they do that, but hey it does pay for repairs. Tomoyo we need to talk"

My eyes open fully and I sit up "About?"

"Yesterday"

"Oh the whole… Eriol kissing me?"

He can't hide the hurt look that sets in on his face "You've know Eriol for a long time, he's from your past. Remember I told you that I first saw you on that swing, all by yourself. Well you weren't completely alone, I could have sworn that I saw someone there with you, he had dark blue hair and blue eyes, and he made you smile. But he looked like a ghost and when I looked harder he was gone, he looked a lot like Eriol"

"What?" I say surprise. He smiles "Yeah, I was imagining things"

"Does it bother you, the relationship I have with Eriol?"

"No. I know he's been a big part of your lives, especially yours. But-"

I smile "Yamato, thanks" I hug him "Thank you so much."

He laughs sadly "For what? I've never been able to help you"

"Yes you have, you didn't let me figure out that storm by myself."

We watch the passing people in silence

What's happening to me I wonder later on? Yue's right, I feel something for both Eriol and Yamato, figuring out what I feel and for who is the complicated part. __


	7. New looks and catching up

--; I really really want to finish this story, I mean this was the fic I was suppose to focus on this summer and suddenly I get inspiration for so many other fics, but here I am I'm still writing this thing...

Thanks to all my faithful reviewers if not for them I would've delted this story a really long time ago.

* * *

A week passes and I'm surprised to still find myself in Tomoeda I haven't even thought about buying a ticket back. I'm surprised at myself I really am. My week has consisted of finally being able to see Yamato play and Eriol treating me to shaved ice, and the most important being with Sakura. That week turns into another and that becomes another week as well. In what I feel to be only mere seconds I have been in Tomoeda three weeks.

Syaoran takes me out to talk in the afternoon. As we drink our tea I tease him for old times sake

"So are you going to ask her to marry you already?"

As I expected he blushes and I smile "Even though we've gotten older Sakura hasn't really changed... she's still as care free and oblivious as she was when you started falling in love with her. She won't notice until you're holding the ring right in front of her"

"Neither have you, you haven't changed either" he turns the conversation around giving it a different tone.

"Your still the same smiling girl Tomoyo. I know that a lot happened after your mother passed away. But I also know that despite all that your still you"

I smile though his words are so hard to hear, just like Sakura telling me how much she misses me.

I sneak back into Sakura's house, "Is she here?" I ask Toya.

He shakes his head and I give a sigh of relief and bring out my laptop onto the kitchen table. I've been neglecting my project. Faces smile at from the screen, reminding me of good memories. We've changed so much from the times those photos were taken, our faces especially: we no longer have the chibi face that gave us that look of innocence. Now we have faces that are defined by high cheekbones and big eyes. I reach out and touch the screen, remembering that I once read this story where the girl had grown up watching old movies and on seeing Marilyn Monroe on the TV screen she had tried to touch her and instead was surprised by her fingers meeting only static, "I thought she would feel as silky as she looked" the line from the story pops into my head. I smile as the only response my own fingers get it light static never the warm pulse that I hoped for.

My years away taught me that there was something worse those videos, telephone calls. Telephone calls give you the agony of hearing the person's mourning voice but letting their expression up to your guilty imagination.

"What are you working on?" Toya asks sitting next to me. I give him a mysterious smile shaking away all my sad thoughts and say "It's a secret and I'll work on it later. Let's talk!"

He gives me a look "about?"

"Come on! Everyone is so vague on what's happened these past few years, you have to tell me!"

"Tomoyo why would I be interested in my little sisters and her friends lives?"

"Because you would be, I know you are interested about every little detail about Sakura and Syaoran. And I want to know about you, Yukito, and Nakuru as well"

He blushes when I mention Yukito, and I grin. "Are you still-"

"Nakuru and Yukito are an item now" he smiles "We both agreed that it would be best. Nakuru looked ready to kill him anytime she saw us together, at first we thought it was because of Yukito in a sense beating her to me, and you know how much Nakuru hates to loose." Toya's eyes get a distant look in them; it's another reminder of what I missed in my absence what I could witnessed if I hadn't run away. "But it turns out it was just the opposite"

"You missed her when she returned to England those times didn't you?"

"Ironically yes. My day never seemed complete with having her pounce on me. The day they came back after you left I went with them to pick her up, she refused to get off me until we got to the car." He laughs "I'm happy for them, they make the oddest couple. But love isn't picky"

I smile "And you?"

"Kaho and I have been sending letters to one another" is all he says. "Okay then… other than Yukito and Nakuru who else is or was dating?"

"Why are you so interested in this?"

"Because they're my friends" I say cheerfully "And I need to know who I should record!"

"Yamato and Chiharu, my sister and the brat, Yamato's dated a few random girls. Naoko fell in love with a poet" he stops to laugh "Rika and Terrada"

"Naoko fell in love with a poet?" he nods "She almost ran after him when she found out he was a traveling poet."

"Poor Naoko"

"And you Tomoyo" he says "Did you find love in that city?"

"No" I say not thinking about my words, "No one could ever amount to what I had here"

Toya smiles "No one could measure up to Eriol or Yamato, huh?"

"That's not what I meant." He grins and gives a little laugh

"Do you still call Syaoran 'the brat'?" I ask him

"Occasionally"

I laugh and stand up "Please try to be kind to him"

"One day maybe"

"Maybe soon you'll have to." I smile again "Bye Toya, I'll see you later"

He takes my hand before I leave, "Everyone said that Nakuru would end up winning my heart, and it's true how my day never seemed complete with out her attacking me. But when she and Yuki were alone it was the first time I had ever seen Nakuru Akizuki actually being shy." The statement surprises me; Nakuru isn't the kind of person you expect to be shy, then again Nakuru and Yuki aren't exactly the two that everyone thought would end up together.

"Tomoyo if you ever do fall in love tell me who it is okay? I want to know who I should hurt if he ever makes you cry"

* * *

I have the next day free. Sakura apologizes over and over but she has some previous engagement that she can't get out of. After assuring her a hundred times that it was okay, and that I would see her later that night for a girls movie night she finally left. My best friend is so… she makes me laugh. She hasn't grown up in some aspects. I take a cab into the city to walk around near Tokyo Tower. I try hard not to feel envy as I see groups of friends walking together.

"Tomoyo!"

I turn to see familiar brown hair "Oh, Hello Nakuru" she falls into step next to me and grabs my arm raving about a clothes store around here that I might like. We reach a parting place and I have two choices- spend the day with Nakuru, or alone. I grin and say "Lead on!"

Nakuru smiles "I know you'll love this place"

And I do, we model clothes for one another laughing at the outrageous outfits we chose for one another. I never noticed what an easy person Nakuru is to be around, she's carefree and everything is funny to her. An hour and a half later we emerge from the store with two bags in our tow each.

"I'm starved" she announces "How about lunch, my treat!"

Over deli sandwiches we gossip shamelessly and Nakuru laughs so uproariously that people in surrounding tables turn to stare at us, but for once I don't care. She tells me details that not even Toya is aware about, explaining with great depth the relationships that have been formed and broken in my absence. This lunch was so relaxing and as we walk out of the deli I start to tell her good bye when she takes my hand and walks with me down the side walk "Come on Tomoyo, let's have some more girl talk; let's whisper about being in love, it's been awhile since I've had someone to have a sleep over with"

"I can't, you'll be doing all the talking," I say somewhat sadly

"No, not by the end of the night"

Nakuru and I lay on her bed giggling like high school cheerleaders.

"Tell me about everything" I say to Nakuru, I turn my camera in her direction and focus on her face that has a slight blush creeping into it. "Tell me about holding Yukito's hand, tell me about love."

Nakuru laughs, "I'll just say I know Yue did not enjoy the first time I kissed Yukito"

I break into uncontrolled laughter "Do you not like Yue?" I ask her

She makes a face "He and Ruby Moon have their little disagreements, but it's okay"

I suppress my giggles "It's now your turn" she says grabbing my video camera and making the subject of this portion me, "Have you ever been in love?"

The first person that enters my head is Eriol. "No…I don't think so…"

Nakuru smiles as if she knows my thoughts "Thinking is not what your heart does" she says

"Yes but thinking kept me sane" Nakuru hugs me and starts laughing

"If we were all sane some of the best stories, plays and poetry would have never been written. You need to act insanely once in awhile, like me!"

I laugh at the thought of acting just like Nakuru. A knock on the door interrupts our talking "I'm almost afraid to know what you are doing in there Nakuru" says Eriol's voice.

"Don't be master! I'm just giving Tomoyo a makeover! So don't you even dare come in here!!" she screeches and pulls out a makeup bag and a comb, and gets an insane gleam in her eye. "Ready for a new look?"

An hour, a bottle of hair spray, and a bag of makeup later I emerge from Nakuru's room, feeling myself already blushing. She rakes through her closet before throwing a dress at me. "Try this one on! I bought it but I never put it on" The dress is Victorian styled, it's material is flowly like and a light violet.

Nakuru refuses to let me look in the mirror as she laces up the dress and pushes me out the door with only a "good luck!"

But I have to say this day has been great, no matter what Eriol will have to say about my new look. It felt so good to have Nakuru's light fingers running through my hair and giggling as she applied eyeliner and mascara, it felt so… normal, telling me about one of the few things I know so little about- love. Nakuru acted like the sister I never had.

I tiptoe out of the room and down the stairs, without a trace of Eriol. I look around for a place to hide from the dark eyed sorcerer and finally remember the garden. _"Are you looking for Eriol or trying to run into him?"_ my mind teases as I quietly open the terrace door and step out into Eriol's magnificent garden. I've always loved how Eriol kept the garden, it seemed to radiate even in the night. I walk among the gorgeous blossoms stopping to admire my favorites, perfect companions of the ones Eriol presented me on the night I returned, morning lilies.

"And who might you be?" comes a voice from behind me.

"Very funny Eriol" I say with a hint of our old game. He smiles innocently "Such a beauty I have never seen before this night, I would have never forgotten you if we had met previously"

All my mother's old teaching on being lady like in high society flood my mind and I curtsy slightly

"Then it is a pleasure to meet you my lord. This is such a beautiful house that I could not help but look in, who could resist peaking into the beautiful garden you have"

"May I invite this mystery lady to dinner?" He asks offering his arm.

I decide to continue play along "You may"

With a bow fit for a courtier he lightly takes my hand in his own and leads me out of the garden and into the dining room. Before we enter I finally glimpse my reflection and am surprised not to see myself. Another girl with a simple hair style, bright eyes, and flushed cheeks stares back at me; Nakuru worked a miracle.

After dinner mysteriously and conveniently enough soft music begins to play. I look around for traces of Nakuru or Eriol's magic.

"May I invite the lady to dance?"

Tonight I will be bold, I won't be the girl Eriol teases with the sole purpose of instigating a fight that will end with him in laughter, not tonight at least. "You may"

Eriol and I have been friends for a long time even with all our disagreements, and yet until tonight, I have never been this close to him. He got much closer than the slow dance required and I struggled to try to breath calmly. I can hear his soft breathing as we turn at the required times and his smile makes me concentrate on keeping my knees from buckling beneath me. What is this… didn't Nakuru just tell me about this, how she felt when she was with Yukito?

He leans in closer almost enough to kiss me, my eyes close and my body anticipates another kiss, no wait - my heart does, I am not thinking. Instead of a kiss Eriol says, "Good night mystery lady, I bid you adieu. "

He bows over my hand and I can help but smile.

"Now I must wait for an old friend" he says excusing himself. Finally I laugh and throw my arms around him.

"Thanks Eriol, let's never tell anyone about this okay?" He joins me in my laughter and kisses my hand.

"Our secret"

I can already here Nakuru's giggling from the other side of the wall and Spinel Sun whispering "Why do you insist on prying in Master's life?"

What else could I want? But there is something... something I need to figure out.


	8. The House

I haven't updated this story in forever.. but here it is and slowly we move towards the eending. Just a few more chapter left.  
-Shadow

* * *

The next day Eriol sweeps me up... unexpectedly. Life seems like one big whirlwind, and I haven't had time to breath yet.

"What are you doing here?" I ask when I see him waiting in Sakura's living room for me. "I've come to take you out of course"

"Some warning would be nice"

"But not fun" Of course that makes me go a bit red "give me a minute"

We walk without any certain direction for awhile before I finally ask

"Where are we going?"

"That's up for you to decide"

"What do you mean?"

"I believe you understand me. Tell me if there's anywhere you want to go and I'll take you there and be there for you every step of the way" Eriol has quickly placed the wings on the first of my own personal trials, the first of my demons I have to face. "Um- Yes there is somewhere you can take me"

As we get closer to our destination my hand finds it way into Eriol's. We don't speak as we walk silently... closer, closer. I don't know what I expected or wanted to see, seeing a family would have made me sad but seeing my old house empty also made me sad. As we stand in front of my house Eriol tightens his grip on my hand. I take a deep breath and turn to him smiling sadly. "Thank you for bringing me"

"Don't mention it."

"You really are nice." He smiles and I open the gate and walk slowly down the path.

I can almost see my mother walking with me chatting pleasantly about her day and asking me about mine. Tears stream down my face as I remember the first time I had to walk down the path completely alone knowing that my mother wouldn't be home later or at the door to great me with her beautiful smile. No my mother was gone; she always told me I could come back home no matter what and she would welcome me with open arms and so much love, but now no matter how many times I leave or how many times I come back that won't ever happen.

My old key still works, my hand shakes so bad but Eriol places his on top of it and helps me turn it. I push the door open and step in Eriol close behind me. All the furniture is still there... nothing's change: nothing but me and the fact that the house is dusty. Airan, our maid, would have had a fit. The furniture is covered, and my mothers not there. Something catches my eye; I walk in the living room and have to sit down because I'm sobbing so hard. Eriol cradles me on the floor and whispering words that try to calm me.

Over the fireplace, one thing in my phantom house hadn't been covered, something I never got to see, a picture of my mother and I, both smiling, oblivious of what would happen only months after.

"You did it" Eriol congratulates wiping off some of my tears "I'm proud of you"

I nod and rest my head on his shoulder taking a shaky breath. "Something inside of me was hoping she would be there," I whisper. "I want everything to be like it used to be Eriol..."

"Life wouldn't be as excruciatingly beautiful if we could go back... we can only go forward and live. But hey hiding in king penguin sure does take us back" I laugh a little

"I always liked it here it always made me feel better" Eriol smiles and I realize how much he's helped me.

"Eriol?"

"Hm?"

"I think I-"

"Tomoyo?" Yamato's voice cuts me off as he finds us. I stand up surprised. I have no idea what I was about to tell Eriol.

"What are you doing?" Sakura asks me.

"Oh nothing" I push my laptop's screen down and smile at my friend. "Eriol told me you two went to your old house" I nod

"Are you okay?"

"Yes... it was something I had to do... but I'm alright now"

"Eriol is always looking out for you," I laugh, "Just like he's always watching over you and Syaoran"

Its Sakura's turn to smile "no this time it's different, much more different"

That night I decide to do a stupid thing, go back to my house alone. I feel the odd urge to go solo to prove to myself that I don't need to depend of anyone much less on Eriol. I quietly slip down the stairs and out into the starry night. The night air is cool but I like it. This time the night shadows are my companions as I near my house.

I open the curtains, hoping to illuminate the rooms. My room seems the emptiest... and the saddest. The walls are bare and everything's covered. With a sigh I fall back on my bed, ghosts of memories running around and pushing their ways into my head, trying to make me remember. But the ghosts flee when one chief memory appears.

_Eriol looks around my bare room, "So you're leaving" _

_I don't reply and stare at the walls. "Tomoyo" _

_"What?" I snap. He looks taken back and we stare at each other. The black dress I wear scratches my skin, I hate this dress. But it's a beautiful dress, and a reminder that beauty is pain. I want to cloak the world in black and fill the void in my heart. But most of all I don't want Eriol's pity. Oh Yes I am leaving _

_"You're running away" he states blandly _

_The words anger me beyond reason, and I know Eriol studies my face hoping to get a reaction from me, a scream or a tear, but if I wouldn't even cry in front of Sakura what guarantees him that he'll be the lucky one to break the mask?_

_"Hiiragizawa leave... now" _

_He stares at me for a second longer his azul eyes stormy and worried; then he turns and leaves. He doesn't look back. I don't call his name... I may as well go ahead and loose everything I care for._

I open my eyes, the next day I would leave... Sakura would tell me Eriol left a month later. I never told Eriol goodbye I ordered him away because deep down I knew he was the only one who would make me face the truth. The truth was something I did not want to hear... it's still something I don't want to hear. I yawn and lay my head down: sleeping lets me forget; sleeping lets me dream.


End file.
